Wouldn’t that meant the 12 Steps would not work for them? If they are entirely normal then surely that would mean they have no resentments, they are not self centered etc. The fundamental issue with a substance use disorder is that there are no predictable factors that make someone more prone to the disorder than another. In fact, studies have been done on twins to try to determine if there is a genetic predisposition for a substance use disorder, typically with mixed results. As there is no specific reason that someone grows to have a substance use disorder, there’s no defining factor or characteristic that might make someone’s obsession turn light or dark. The good news is that properly treated, those in recovery from the disorder are often able to, with continued growth, use this quality in order to be very successful. The same pursuits that many had, prior to their struggles becoming unmanageable, become easy to focus upon again, often leading to more success than they experienced before. This is greatly inspirational for those who have just come into the room when the mountain looks impossible to climb. Seeing the same traits that were harmful before, turn to assets and lead to a more incredible life is often the first thing that attracts newer members to recovery. I have sought refuge from my negative emotions in alcohol, drugs and other addictive behaviours.
- I would have strangely blamed this person for making me feel the way I did!
- These are all parts of my emotionally entangled web that is spun when I react to some sense of rejection.
- In other words, the spirituality we encourage at MARR is not a dogmatic set of beliefs.
- Similarly, those who struggle with alcohol addiction are more susceptible to developing a mental health issue.
Viewing Jewish practices as a program of healing, renewal, and change inherently assumes that human beings are imperfect, pained, and broken. Moreover, it assumes that we need help in the form of practices, community, and guidance. Again, this may seem like obvious and simple wisdom, however, there is a monumental difference between giving it lip service and truly and deeply believing in it. These illustrate how the 12 step programme can help with an emotion dysregulation disorder. If we start by trying to recover from alcoholism and addiction and find we still have other issues then obviously address these with outside professional and specialist help. For example, one variable I believe is slightly different in alcoholism to other affective disorders is distress based impulsivity which leads to maladaptive decision making, it leads to always wanting more of that…that anything. In fact our first “spiritual” wakening was probably the result of drinking as it transformed how we felt about ourselves and the world in which we lived. In fact, I felt “more me” when I drank, it was like I escaped a restrictive sense of self to be a more expansive, people loving self.
The Peace of God from the God of Peace
I look at the past fleetingly sometimes to help others but I never stare at it too long. Otherwise we have not really completely treated our alcoholism. We have a sea change in how we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us. It is almost miraculous, the sudden transformative effect it can have on us. We have the chance to be free from the sick version of our real self, the self that has been in bondage, in addiction.
If you are an alcoholic, then you know you cannot just put the plug in the jug and quit. If it were as easy as not eating a peanut anymore, then you would have stopped long ago. Reach out to our compassionate team to begin your recovery journey. Conveniently, I overlooked the words ‘God as you understand Him (or Her’) ingeniously included in the steps. I was born Jewish and had studied both the Old and New Testament. I had been practicing meditation for almost 20 years and had read countless books on Eastern religion and thought. I had studied Emmett Fox, The Course in Miracles and was a card-carrying member of the Self-Realization Fellowship . I proceeded to give John a discourse about the human ego, transcendence, and the Oneness of all things.
Filling the Hole: Fixing the Spiritual Malady
Sins were a contagion that mixed with the sins of others and the sins of families, groups, societies, cultures and countries. Someone you are going to open up to and discuss intimate stuff with, someone who will ultimately know the shameful secrets that can keep a person spiritually and emotionally sick and will continue to do so until we share this stuff and let it all go. In order to fully recover from alcoholism, addiction and addictive behaviours, we find we have to trust at least one other human being. AA’s 12 steps are a spiritual program of recovery but at the heart of that spirituality is the role of sponsoring. Secondly, listing all the negative emotions I had when I held a resentment against someone was very revealing in that when I held a resentment, any resentment, and against a wide variety of people, the negative emotions listed where generally the same! In fact they were all interlinking in a pattern of emotional reacting, one activating the other. It was like a emotion web that ensnared one in increasingly frustrating states of emotional distress and inappropriate responding. Finding out what is really going on with us emotionally is at the heart of recovery.
I do agree that 99.9% of human have a spiritual sickness and – IMHO – everybody could use what we learn here in the Steps of AA! I share my experience with my growth whenever I am asked to advise – even with my 12 year old Gdaughter or my husband. I do not think anyone is NORMAL lol and I seldom use the word without a little bit of sarcasm. There are certain benefits that can be healthy when a person obsessively seeks development and self-improvement. The first of these is that individuals that are seeking to better themselves in one way or another are often eager to learn and thus open to the experience. This allows individuals to be flexible and open-minded in their pursuit of more knowledge that can assist them in their quest for better knowledge. When someone is less emotionally stable they are more likely to question and hesitate, causing self-criticism and a lack of confidence. The confidence that is gained by those who are more emotionally stable can aid them in decision-making and their ability to take needed risks. The third positive benefit is that someone who is obsessively seeking to improve has greater interpersonal sensitivity.
thought on “The Spiritual Malady”
We would use drugs and alcohol to deal with these issues. For a while, that seemed to work for us but once we stopped using substances the discontentedness came back to the surface in sobriety. People in the rooms refer to this as a ‘god-sized hole’. It’s a void that we used to fill with drugs and alcohol. We will try to fill this god-sized hole with anything we can. Anyone can be Sober House spiritually maladapted, but as an alcoholic, we use alcohol to deal with having a spiritual malady. Many people say that alcoholics have a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. I want to make clear to members that these thoughts are not definitive treatise on the subjects. Just an attempt to stimulate thought or discussion and provide information based on my study and experience.
AA’s textbook refers to alcoholism as a ‘spiritual malady’ NOT a disease. Disease is not mentioned in the big book thru page 164
— ETC_blog (@etc_messages) February 21, 2011
We had limited control over behaviour at times due to intoxication and acted on occasion in a way that shames us today. The other part is that this guy, if an alcoholic like me, has real difficulties accessing in his heart and mind how he actually “feels” at any particular time. Or rather what emotions he is experiencing at any particular time. Step 1 in the AA programme is “ We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable”. It is emotionally healthy to surrender and accept things over which we have no control. For many recovering alcoholics this may be another unpalatable truth, that they have spiritual malady aa issues with emotional responding, with being emotionally mature. If further validation is required I suggest a frank conversation with a loved one, wife, husband, child, parent, etc. For the addict or alcoholic, this often times means working the Steps and in the process of working these steps, getting the required “psychic change” that will expel the obsession to use and allow you to live a meaningful and happy life. How this works, I can’t say for certain but it does work and very often at some point during working the Steps, the addict or alcoholic will notice that they have had a complete shift in the way they view life.
About Soberocity
For a long time I thought my life was unmanageable because of all the crazy insane things I did while drinking — like the car accidents, hurting people when I didn’t mean to, failed relationships, loss of jobs, family dysfunction, jails, asylums, etc. 2) I had to realize that, had THAT SET of resentments not resulted in me feeling trapped, then sulking, then drinking, the next set probably would have. In conclusion, staying spiritually healthy means trying to keep ourselves open to being surprised by life. A prayer common to 12 Step Fellowships beautifully summarizes this sentiment. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous pragmatically talks about spirituality. Above all, the spirituality required for successful recovery involves open-mindedness. However, they probably come from some confusion about what spirituality or “having a spiritual experience” means in the context of the A.A. Almost disappointingly I found some of my sins were quite tame when compared to other people I have spoken to in recovery. Thus my original point is not semantic, AA was not founded by one person, it was co-founded as we alcoholics achieve sobriety with the help of other alcoholics. Dr Bob, it is aid, went on to help over 5,000 alcoholics achieve sobriety and died sober.
Suppose spirituality is about being willing to be open to something new. In that case, the words “God” and “prayer” have much more to do with an attitude and posture of humility. They become less about the content of the person’s belief system and more about the openness to a new experience. In steps 4 and 5 we listed wrongdoings to others and although initially petrified to share them with another, found that it wasn’t as difficult as we thought it would be, once you wrote down the worst top ten. These secrets are the emotional and psychic scars of our alcoholic past and they need to be exposed in order for us to fully heal. This is why we celebrate this great anniversary, this co-founding of AA, as it is the start of this therapeutic and spiritual connectedenss with other alcoholics needing help and giving help and with the wider world. The spirituality of AA is exemplified in helping others, it creates a feeling of wholeness and connectedness with others. Most active ingredients accounting for AA’s benefit are social in nature, such as attending meetings, and the 12 steps mention “we” 6 times but not “I” once. Millions of lives have been saved not to mention the lasting benefits it has brought to families, and societies once harmed by alcoholism.
Contact Your First Step’s National Hotline
It affects every aspect of our lives and must be overcome if we wish to fix ourselves mentally and physically. The way humans think is on a spectrum of self-centeredness and god-centeredness. When dealing with the disease of alcoholism we are selfish and self-centered beings. We use everything and everyone, even when we stop using alcohol and drugs to cope with these feelings of being unsatisfied and uncomfortable in life. The more we focus less on ourselves we allow a god of our understanding to enter our minds and work in our lives. Explains, “If, when you honestly want to, you find that you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably an alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.” We embark upon a journey of recovery that allows us to develop a deep spiritual connection.
The anger response is more comfortable than feeling the shame for some individuals. Families where coercive and humiliating methods of discipline are used develop children who are shame prone. Behavior become driven by defenses that function to keep from feeling bad. Reality becomes distorted to further protect the self from poor self esteem. The transfer of blame to someone else is an indicator spiritual malady aa of internal shame. I had an argument with a guy once who suddenly proclaimed he was upset by what I had said. I was amazed as this guy was reading his emotions, identifying verbalising/expressing them to me in a way I have never been able to do. I explained to him that his pride had been hurt, he was in shame and his “apparent” depression every since was simply prolonged self pity.
I am assailed externally by fear of what other’s think about me and internally about what I think of me – when these two line up it can have a powerful and damaging effect on my psyche. I have found over the last decade in recovery that when I turn my Will over to the care of the God of my understanding that I am restored to sanity and my thoughts are sound, they are on a higher plane as the Big Book tells me. I have seen in myself how fear and shame seem to drive most of my maladaptive behaviour. We have difficulties in our relationships with others, these relationships are often unhealthy and ill. Some of us have this knawing feeling of not being good enough, have a hole in the soul which we are/were kinda always unconsciously trying to protect, shield from the world. Some of us are “people pleasers”, some of us are dismissive towards others. I can be a dismissive person more than a people pleaser. It is all manipulating our interaction with others to our selfish ends. The website does not provide medical or psychological advice and the information contained on the website is not intended to be a substitute for, or to be relied upon, as medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not directing any individuals to specific treatment modalities or treatment providers.
